Repeat After Me

Abby (3) is in the "repeat after me" stage of learning how to pray. The last few nights that I've prayed with her, she's been changing my words. It goes something like this:

Me: Heavenly Father, I thanks thee....

Abby: Heavenly father, I thank thee....

Me: I ask the....

Abby: I ask thee....

Me: Please bless that I may sleep well tonight.

Abby: Please bless MOMMY that SHE may sleep well tonight.

As a homeschool mom, I am just so pleased that her pronouns agree!

What Fills My Head...

I love podcasts. Shortly after I had Jacob (almost 10!) I realized that I really liked a little noise in the background during the day, but that TV is crap. So I started listening to audio books. I later progressed to talk radio...the good, right wing stuff (gotta love it!). And finally, last fall, I discovered podcasts (yes, I know I'm wayyyy behind!). These little gems keep me going throughout the day. It is like hanging out with my friends...Ira, Ira, Chuck and Josh (among others). ( I really like using parenthesis today!) So here is a list of my favorite podcasts in no particular order, except the first, I really love that one (if you care):

1. This American Life: Probably my all time fav. Eclectic mix of stories about everyday life. Often includes guests like David Sedaris and Mike Birbiglia ( who we are going to see in Sep...can't wait!). Sometimes funny, sad, educational, etc. Always enlightening.

2. Grammar Girls Quick and Dirty Tips: Quick little tip on proper grammar. I was sold when she discussed the proper use of "use" versus "utilize." The word utilize is a complete pet peeve of mine...why would you utilize something when you can just use it?

3. NPR Science Friday: Covers some very interesting and offthebeatenpath topics. You just need to be comfortable using your own discernment about theories that are presented as truth.

4. President Obama's weekly Radio Address: I don't think I need to explain this one, except perhaps to say that his speech before the Democratic Caucus had me fuming.

5. NPR Fresh Air: Another eclectic podcast that covers pop culture, politics, economics, etc. Often with a liberal bent, but I really enjoy the variety...and they put out a new podcast most days.

6. The Moth: Love this one! This is a series of stories told by different people on a live stage. The stories have to be true and told without notes. The ones that make it on air are almost always good. Just watch out for the ones that use a lot of bad language...iTunes tells you if they are explicit.

7. How Stuff Works: Another favorite. Part of the "Stuff You Should Know" series of podcasts. The hosts are Chuck and Josh, who feel like old friends (of mine). They choose a variety of interesting and off the wall topics and explain how they work. For example, yesterday I listened to one about how face transplants work...who woulda thunk? Always interesting and increases general knowledge.

So there you go. These are the things that fill my brain while I am doing laundry (my favorite...really), getting ready for the day, working around the house, etc. I have a nifty little docking station with speakers for my Nano that follows me everywhere. That and my kids! :)

Happy Birthday Grandpa!!!

Happy Birthday Grandpa Neu!!!!

An Important Discussion...

I just spent quite a bit of time commenting on a post on another blog, and want to direct you there. It is an important and interesting...and might I add, very honest....discussion of homosexuality and the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Two of Jon's fabulous, and strikingly attractive, siblings have started the discussion on their blog here. With a follow up here. It also provides interesting insight into the status of single people in the church. this is something that I very close to my heart and I encourage you to check it out!

Soul Searching...

Let's face it, I'm an open book. And this blog is really a personal journal, so here are some deep thoughts. I apologize if this is heavier than what you were looking for, but it is what's on my mind!

So in July I had an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured. Overall, the experience was fine, not particularly emotional and I recovered well. So here is the story of my thought s since then.

I have struggled a lot with not being able to have any more children. When this happened I was pregnant and praying for twins. Incidentally, a couple of doctors think I probably was pregnant with twins...one in utero and one ectopic, but that is another story (interesting how prayers are answered!). Clearly, I still wanted more children. So when I was faced with emergency surgery Jon and I both, independently, had the feeling that we should have the doctor do a tubal ligation on the other side as well. It really felt like the right thing to do, so we did. No more babies.

Fast forward a couple of months and now I'm wondering if it was really the right thing to do, or just one option that was all right for us if that is what we chose. I mean, did I just choose to end having children when I didn't have to??? That was when a close friend stepped in and pointed out to me that having the ligation done was clearly a prompting, as I would have never thought that was a good idea on my own. As soon as she said this I knew she was right. That was not a choice I would have made on my own, and I believe it really is the choice Heavenly Father wanted me to make. It made sense to me. Frankly, when Heavenly Father wants me to stop taking a particular course He makes it VERY clear. A life-threatening ruptured ectopic is pretty clear.

So now what? I know I made the right choice and I am not going to have any more kids. So is that the end? I still want a big family! I still have a hard time imagining that this is it! I know 5 kids seems insanely large to many of you, but it feels on the small side to me. So I have been obsessing about other thoughts. I know I am not supposed to birth anymore children. Should we consider adoption? How about foster care? I've just been desperately trying to figure out why this is the right thing and how we are supposed to move forward. Enter close friend one more time.

One day I was chatting with the same close friend and she expressed how much more she enjoys being a mother as her children get older. She said something to the effect of, "And you are really going to love it, because you even like it now!" That's when it hit me. I really don't enjoy mothering the older children nearly as much as the babies. I could spend the entire day caring for the babies and toddlers to the exclusion of the older children. Heavenly Father needs me to learn to care for these kids I have been blessed with, with the same love and energy that I did when they were babies. And frankly, I have limits. I know, we all do. But I seem to be more limited than others! I get frustrated easily, have a temper, and have a hard time keeping motivated and on track. Therefore, when I have to choose where to place my focus and energy, it generally goes to the little ones.

So it is finally becoming clear to me. This is the family that I have, and I am so blessed to have them. It is time for me to move on to the next stage of this family. It gives me peace to know that this is the right thing for our family, even though I'm still crying buckets as I sit here wthisriting . It's time for me to stop mourning and learn to embrace this new and exciting time in our lives! It's going to be great!

P.S. I really do love all of my kids. I just really enjoy babies. What can I say?

Soon...

I recognize that if I don't start writing again, people will stop reading! Soon!

Master Neu

HE DID IT!!! After many years, a lot of late nights and weekends, and more projects than he cares to remember, Jon has finally earned his MBA and is done with school. Forever. And ever. Never to go back again, if I have anything to say about it...and I think I do. As much as I loath graduation ceremonies...let's face it, they are painful... the Hooding Ceremony was a lovely bit of closure for all the time and effort.

Now as it turns out nursing is a pretty sweet gig. So, no immediate plans to look for a new job just yet. I am really looking forward to having Jon home at 3:30 everyday with nothing hanging over his head. Ohhhh the honey-do list I have compiled over the last 2 1/2 years!

For YOU!!!

I won!! I won!! And now it's YOUR turn to win!!! I ran across this very fun little "contest" on my friend Lindsey's blog, and I WON!! So now I'm paying it forward. Check out the rules and leave a comment!

{The Rules}

--Be one of the first three bloggers to leave a comment on this post, which then entitles you to a handmade item from me.

--Winners must post this challenge on your blog, meaning that you will Pay It Forward, creating a handmade gift for the first three bloggers who leave a comment on YOUR post about this giveaway!

--The gift that you send to your Three Friends can be from any price range and you have 365 days to make/ship your item. This means you should be willing to maintain your blog at least until you receive your gift and have shipped your gifts. And, remember: It’s the Spirit and the Thought That Count!

--When you receive your gift, please feel free to blog about it, sharing appropriate Linky Love!

If you are not one of the Top Three Commenters on this post, you can still play along. Please take the button and post it on your blog; start your own Pay It Forward chain, and encourage your blogging friends to do the same!

Conversation with Bits

A couple of days ago Elizabeth asked, "Mom, what happens when you have too much throw-up in you?"

I replied, "It comes out."

Then Bits informed me, "Yeah, and you turn into an ogre."

It was all very matter of fact. Who knew?

P.S. Elizabeth and Bits are the same person.